In a night of tea drunkery and boredom, I descended into the depths of Amazon’s tea world. The madness started when I was linked this Collapsible Tea Kettle
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At first I was impressed as this kettle is so space efficient and lime green! Rest assured, it also comes in bio-hazard orange! Then I read the 1 star reviews of the kettle melting violently when people left it unattended. I don’t think I am ever going to leave auto-shut-off boil-dry techno town.
I then went down the search engine hole.. when you hit page 15 you start getting the weird stuff. Stuff that seems useful to only show off your tea nuts you are. These are the tea drunk purchases of Amazon.
Yixing Tea Pot looking USB flash drive?!?! I could be convinced to buy this if it was bigger than 8GB! How dope would it be to whip this flash drive out at a tea tasting to show off your tea pics!
Here are items that will lead to jokes that will get old after a week. “Hey, who left the kettle on??” I can smell the Pinterest DIY on these night lights and lamps. For the less crafty folk, you can get tea pot lights on Amazon.
Oddly there is a lot of Yixing t-shirts and sweaters while searching “yixing” on Amazon. At first I was like, “Wow, I didn’t know there was a Yixing fan club. When am I going to find the gaiwan shirts?”
After awhile it clicked, these shirts are in reference the handsome dancer and singer of EXO – Lay! His real name Zhang Yixing, thus why there is a small army of fan girl Yixing apparel. I won’t spill the beans on you if I see you wearing a “I Heart Yixing” shirt at the Tea Convention, but I cannot guarantee if I start giggling. I would of put two and two together sooner if Lay was my bias of EXO. Sorry Lay, Oolong Owl is on Team Kris Wu.
This is something I should of found on Aliexpress first, but it is here on Amazon. It is the Yixing Cookie Monster belching. It could also be Rick Sanchez burping. Cannot be unseen!
Ditto for “amazed these are now on Amazon” for this impressive Dairy Queen Blizzard tea pot!
Here is a more serious offering – a handmade gaiwan. Maybe it is my monitor settings, but this gaiwan is really pink.
Here is a straight up etsy looking, whimsical miniature fairy tea cup. I expect hobbits to open the door and get washed into my tea tray.
No, I will not be doing a comparison tasting of the effects of tea in a Moss Tea Cup.
(amazon affiliate links, proceeds going to keeping the kettle running or year of the cock tea fund)
